Taking it for granted...

If any of you are paying attention to the time that this is posted, you'll notice that I'm awake and blogging at 1:30am. Sometimes things just can't wait. I waited too long to write in my pregnancy journal (which is probably why there are only about 4 entries!) and I often wait too long to say the things I want to say- usually out of fear that I may embarrass myself, or that people won't understand why I feel the sudden urge to say things to them.

I am blessed. Is my life what I thought it would be? No. When I was 5, I was going to be a firefighter. When I was 12, I was going to be an OB/GYN (who saw that one coming?). When I was 16, I had no clue what I was going to be. When I got to college, well, the rest is history...

Life evolves, sometimes into things we don't, and will never, understand, but it does. And it doesn't slow down and wait for us to understand. Nope, it just keeps going. But there are times, and I do believe in the mayhem and chaos that we create for ourselves, they are few, but nevertheless, there are times when we hit the pause button and reflect on ourselves. Tonight was one of those nights. Though I suspect it has been building for a couple of days now.

A week ago, I watched a dance choreographed to a remarkable song, titled This Woman's Work (So You Think You Can Dance). A flood of memories came back to the movie that inspired that song...and I realized something (it all came together after rushing out tonight to rent the movie). I take so much of my blessed life for granted.

• my husband, who is as resolved as steel and hardly ever falters, supporting me every single step of my crazy ways
• my mom, who is right around the corner, literally and figuratively, to help me in any way she can (even if it's to make chicken noodle soup late on a Tuesday night)
• my dad, who has never doubted me and has made me live up to who he knew I could be
• my step mom, who judges no one and does her best to be the best she can for us
• my in-laws, for taking me in and loving me as one of their own
• my sister, who, Lord knows, struggled with me growing up, but has become one of the very best friends I have ever had- I love you!
• my girlfriends, who have seen me through all of my ugliness and heyday and stood by me through it all: boyfriends, breakups, makeups, weddings, baby, you name it!
• my guy friends, who have also seen the ugliest sides to me and still love me no matter what: boyfriends, breakups, makeups, weddings (and rehearsals!), baby, you name it!
• my health and those of the people I love...what more can I say?
• my everyday heroes (Bob, Greg, Mike, Edward, Zach and all the others out there trying to make a difference in the world) who put their lives on the line everyday to protect us. I take it for granted that they have come home everyday after their shift is up. Thank you God.
• my family, who is crazy, in love, spirit, and faults, for making me who I am today
• my job and the families I meet, who let me in and let me create in their children something new
• my friends who are far away, that still manage to reach me and let me know I'm important to them
• my God, who gives me everything

I dabble with the idea that I am strong and know what I am doing with my life, and I'm sure in many instances I am and I do. But reflectively, I don't think I'm there yet or have faced whatever it is that I am supposed to face before I can really say I'm there. Sure, I get through my daily struggles and pay our bills and take care of a (sometimes difficult) two and a half year old. But honestly, God has been really, really good to me. I read a blog, almost daily, of a 5 year old who has struggled with brain cancer since she was 4. 4. She (and her family) is an inspiration to me. I have never even met this little girl or her parents, but I hope one day I get to. She has seen more in her little, fragile life than any of us could ever imagine in a lifetime and I thank God daily that she has come so far.

Not exactly sure where my ramblings are going...but how can one song lead to so many memories and so many thoughts? Not sure, and I don't know if I want to know. I like when things take me by surprise like that.

I guess that for whomever is reading this, you are a special part of my life. And I just wanted you to know...

God Bless! "I thank my God every time I remember you." Phil. 1:3